On Thursday I found this commentary by one the sports writers over at the Columbus Dispatch, concerning what he laments as the “sissification” of the NFL player in today’s league. You’ll want to read it first. Here’s an excerpt:
“It no longer is enough to be tough. You also must be transparent and authentic, more human than Neanderthal.
Well, guess what? Pro football fans don’t want to watch modern man. When the season opens tonight in Indianapolis, we’ll want to witness the beast that is pro football, where shoulders explode on impact and heads bounce off turf like cantaloupes tossed back into the produce bin.”
Clever writing, I guess. He then goes on to reveal several instances of men breaking parts of their bodies and going out to play anyway, saying this is the way it’s supposed to be. I was a little perturbed, so I sent the following letter to the editor of the Dispatch, which I thought I’d share with you here. Hyperlinks at no extra charge! Enjoy.
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When you prune it down to its essence, you realize that Rob Oller’s Thursday column (“Fans don’t want NFL players evolving into sissies”) contained a simple message to those playing America’s most physical sport: Shut up and dance, monkeys.
In 2006, former Philadelphia Eagles star Andre Waters committed suicide, and the autopsy report revealed a brain so damaged by concussions and other injuries that it resembled the brain of an 86-year-old man in the early stages of Alzheimer’s Disease. In 2002, Hall of Famer and former Pittsburgh Steelers center Mike Webster died homeless and with mental illness widely attributed to the injuries he sustained in the league. And yet Mr. Oller holds up these type of men as being heroes of masculinity, a “300″-like troupe who, like their big screen counterparts, are pure myth of violence and disregard of human life. What’s more, he lacerates men who complain of (get this) waking up in agony every Monday morning, almost as if that’s a personal defect we wish not to see in our heightened male fantasy projection that often defines our love for the game.
Don’t misunderstand me: I love football, and I always have. But I believe that the NFL owes its players more guaranteed safety measures and its retirees more compensation for the pain and suffering they were asked to endure for our entertainment. And Mr. Oller is one of the many voices that complains when the ugly reality of men and their very real pain interrupts our male fantasy (read fallacy) that we are or can be invincible and all-powerful.
Wake up, Mr. Oller. These men are not dancing monkeys: they are, in fact, real men like you and me, and they get hurt in today’s NFL, they have to live with it, likely without sufficient compensation after they retire. Sorry to ruin the fantasy.
Clint White
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
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Here’s hoping it gets printed!
5 Comments
September 8, 2007 at 9:57 pm
I hope they do print your letter…though I heard it’s facing stiff competition from one written by John Eldridge in support of Oller.
September 9, 2007 at 4:03 am
Well written and I agree with everything you have to say. It is mythical fantasy land for many, perhaps most males. I heard some callers to a radio talk show about the use of steroids in sports and several callers were of the opinion that it shouldn’t matter because we are paying to see the best, so who cares how they became the best. They said they want to see biggest and baddest most pumped up guys possible. To which the host replied, “we already have that, it’s called professional wrestling. Now go watch the WWE and leave the real guys to play real sports.”
September 9, 2007 at 5:07 am
at my “weaker” moments, now this is ironic, im kind of a sucker for the “i-swear-to-god-im-going-to-kill-you-for-that-football” mentality. I read in the paper a few months ago about an Aussie Rules Football player who faced a choice after his broken finger required surgery. He could either have the surgery and miss the playoffs…or have it amputated…i’ll let you guess which he chose. Lets just say that he is both physically and mentally no longer “all there”. Like i said, this opinion is at my weaker moments…which i don’t have very many of because i am a man! Your voice is the voice of common sense and decency in this case…but then again…its hard to get so passionate about civility…i tried watching cricket and hated every minute. Haha. Let us know if it gets printed.
September 9, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I’ll never forget when I was in grad school in LA hearing the story of Chris Chandler (I think) who was the Rams QB at the time taking 2.5 hours to find his way home after a game, when he only lived 10 minutes from the stadium, because of how many concussions he had received in his career which was wreaking havoc on his frontal lobe. But wait a second…we’re men…we don’t need frontal lobes! We just need to rappel naked in Moab!!!
September 9, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Joel,
I believe he did. Only his angle was: everytime an NFL player complains, Braveheart Jesus decapitates another Persian brigade, or something like that.
Patrick,
I can’t believe someone would have the guts to actually let their voice be publicly heard speaking that. Wow. But you know, there’s something to that mentality that jives well with the “dancing monkey” theme Oller’s developing here. It’s all just a means to an end, right?
Carlo,
I obviously wouldn’t expect a man so manly as yourself to completely understand abstract terms like “civility” and “decency”. After all, aren’t you’re the guy that, under the false pretense of going to Australia to “help others,” spent a year adventuring through the rugged Outback with wallabys and half-cooked kangaroos as your only sustenance? Legend has it that you only chose the endangered species, and that those poor kangaroos, the locals tell me, had but a large foot-shaped bruise on their stomachs as the only evidence of capture. Well done, sir. Well done.
Ron,
I agree with you. Perhaps I’m putting too much emphasis on that silly frontal lobe. Give me the parts of the brain that control running, leaping, pissing, um … rappelling … uh, … thinking … hmm.
Oh, and sex. Definitely sex.